like, why does it matter? if you like what you like its for a reason, even if its malebrained or whatever.
but i dont want to like these things because it divides me from real women and it makes it harder to interact with them and for them to interact with me
you know holding yourself accountable to the reactions of others is what makes you more likely to feel like you are only worth something when you are easy to interact with, right? you can still have interests that are outside of what “real women” interact with, and still be friends with “real women” by being an interesting, funny, nice, or just generally rounded person, and it wont detract from whatever limit you are holding over your head.
i dont know how to be interesting or funny or nice or well-rounded i feel like a total fucking loser whenever i dont know as much about a topic of conversation as someone else and i immediately become incapable of holding conversation its really embarrassing
youre holding yourself to a standard that most people would fall under, honestly. you dont need to know how to do all of those things to be a real person. sometimes, admitting that you dont know something is the most human thing you can do, and sometimes people will actually bond with you by explaining it or just holding a conversation with you explaining about a topic. it is embarrassing to be in a situation you cant control, but by just regarding yourself a huge “loser” (which isnt true, you seem pretty cool from what ive seen you post so far), the only control your forcing is by putting yourself in a cell and expecting to be a better person because of it. i hope you can give yourself a little leeway, because you dont deserve how harsh youre being to yourself.
i just like dont know how to be the bottom in the conversation
its probably hyper-vigilance to act in a way you want to be seen. to be honest, admitting your incompetence, or at least resigning your “self determination” or whatever and trust they can hold you. youll either get a bite or not, but thats just life in general. i couldnt tell you despite suffering the same sort of issue as well, but i just sort of gave up on people for the time being to be honest.
i thjnk that is very insightful
real
in what way are you malebrained
Literally every way
the way i see and interact with the world is permanently unmistakably moided. i have been socialized male and i have male autism and i speak in a male way and i genuinely believe if you did an ekg or an eeg or fmri or whatever it is that maps the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis it would be indistinguishable from that of a 33-year-old man that organizes the office fantasy football league and is a member of the homeowners association
i dont believe you
U literally can read it in my typig dont even pretend
a man prob wouldn’t use ‘literally’ there
im rolling my eyes
