Like idk, I have fantasies about having IRL friends and maybe a gf but when I critically think I realise that’s never going to happen, I’m not good at keeping or making friends and I end up just making everyone mad. Like yeah I’m “nice” but I often end up breaking down and oversharing and push people away bc I genuinely despise every little thing about myself and nobody else can really see it. I want to give up on finding IRL friends but I don’t want to be alone, I want a friend I want one so bad, I love the online friends I have but I just want to interact with someone IRL bc it feels so lonely with a screen