I think maybe being around the board and 4tran could have fucked me over since everyone is so much younger than me. Being 25 I think in most places online is seen as not terribly old for transition while here I see people doom about being as young as 16 and starting HRT. Not making a comment on others peoples right to doom.
I just feel like the perfect middle point of not being able to accept I’m old and fucked then becoming able to relate to other places online or being young enough I would be able to logically feel confident that I can transition into something not disgusting. Or maybe I am old and fucked then I’m just trying to logically escape being that by believing I’m in the middle.
I don’t have any advice for how people will perceive you I’m from the US. I’m terrified as well I don’t think there is a way around the fear. Starting this young if you get FFS there is probably a good chance you can pass pretty well especially if someone said you could become a semipassoid with just hrt and only said you might need your nose done. I’m going to be unable to present as anything but male for a while as well something like 1 1/2 or 2 years the prospect sucks.
Focus on your studies and start building your life maybe get a job in the meantime to start to save up. Keep yourself busy and keep going outside staying inside is not good for anyone. Stay as positive as you can although I know how hard that is and it’s hypocritical of me to tell you to do that.