i want to die young. or well, i wanted to. i feel like im past the point of dying young these days. i wish i had though. i dont really care all that much about legacy, but for some reason i have always been attached to this idea.
theres just something tragic, yet beautiful about the thought of me dying young. burning out fast, but shining brightly before i go. to never have had the chance to make mistakes, for the only memory of me to be that of an innocent child.
i think its probably a manifestation of my usual depression and longing for death, combined with my peter pan syndrome. because i never really wanted to grow up. i still dont really, but i already have. and to me, that feels worse than death
i feel the same way . it’d have been nice to die before i became a disappointment . perhaps so my death would be seen as a travesty rather than, another failure ? hm hmm there’s more to it than just that . but regardless , it’s too late now . how sad
tbh if you ask me , it feels like my life ended some time ago . and i remained , forced to live a life that has already finished . the dead aren’t fit for this world , which is why i find myself to be so helplessly stagnant . it’s like you say , worse than death .
i feel the same. the feeling that ive died a long time ago i mean. the soul is gone, but the flesh remains. only inertia keeping my corpse moving despite it all
ya that’s exactly it . inertia
i know i’m just delusional :(
yeah :(
i used to be obsessed with ending my life before i turned 18, i felt like the horror and pain of all of this wouldn’t be as horrible if everything ended before my life ever really began. i would be asleep forever and would be free and would be myself.
i know i can be rude and impatient with you a lot of the time, and im sorry for that, but i do truly believe you can find some peace and happiness Anna. i hope you get there, really
