I’m pre transition starting HRT soon, growing hair out - kind of androgynous. Today I had a day free of school. I felt so much hope, I had hope that HRT will fix my moid self. I had no dysphoria, I felt like I was feminine enough. But after a quick trip to a supermarket, it all came back. It was painful looking at all the women, and then my reflection in the window and my phone screen. It made me realize how truly moid I am. My head and jaw size(not sharp but big) will be unfixable even with ffs. I was feeling like a monster standing near the cashier, so tall, so uncanny, looking down at people is pure ropefuel. For a while I thought my dysphoria was gone, I always get fooled like this because my memory is so shit, it always happens the same way.