It went away because I am genuinely afraid of dying and the possibility of not existing, not thinking not being able to atleast observe being nothing, but the urge to end it has returned. I thought I was fixed but I genuinely feel like hurting myself I’m scared
I completely understand how this is, I am starting to enter deep depression again too and what I am trying to do to not get as bad as last time is forcing myself to do basic things every day like at least showering or even washing my hair, doing daily stuff in games or watch some episodes of a show, anything that goes beyond doomscrolling and bedrotting so the snowball of depression don’t get so big this time