I feel like ever since starting to actually put effort in transitioning I’ve always used hope to keep going. “Ah I bet E will make me look like a girl in a year. Okay that didn’t work, maybe another year :D. Okay wow still nothing, time for ffs, surely that’ll work :D.” I really hope it isn’t just a dead end after all this.
One of my biggest fears honestly. This better works, it’s all or nothing, I can finally recognise myself in the mirror or it’s the rope.