I deserved neglect… I deserved abuse… I deserved being hit… I deserved being locked in closets… I deserved losing the things I found sentimental… I deserved rape… I deserved shame… I deserved guilt… I deserved the threats… I deserved all the things that have happened to me over the years… I will have deserved death when it comes… It is my penance… I am evil… I am not Diane… Thats not a person who exists… thats a person I made up in my mind… I am evil… I deserve all of these things… in a next life maybe I can be granted my peaceful existence… but not this one… I was given a curse to be transgender… I will never be a complete human… my peace was taken from me… my purity… all stolen… I will never have my peace… and I do not deserve peace… this is my penance…