today i was in office of military yucks and they gave me a week to do basic medical stuff and then theyd definitely drafted me. I couldnt just allow ot because if im gonna get in there and they will cut my hair and forcefully detrans me for 18 months id killed myself.

So today I also went to psychoneurological dispensary and told therapist everything about my life and dysphoria and hrt and cuts. They are gonna put me in psych ward for further medical examination in 2 days.

Parents dont know yet and idk if i will tell them. I’m too anxious to do that so i probably will leave a piece of paper with clarification of where i went. Idk if they will hate me or not because i lied to them all the time but i literally just cant go in the fucking army so i dontnhave a choice.

Kind words will be appreciated… I’m gonna try smuggle a small phone there so maybe we will keep in touch. Also im definitely gonna pregdose myself haha