this flash of envy every time i see a woman

wanting breasts is so disgustingly fetishistic why why why

i cant have children! im barren! why does it feel like my body is half missing? there is no reason to want breasts or hips or any of it, theres no purpose to this envy but petty narcissism! im not a real trans woman, i didnt “know” that im a woman im just chasing it out of this weird vanity , its compeltely irrational so why cant i let it go??