I can feel it. Racing thoughts. Irritability. Lowered inhibitions around suicidality. Others noticing me not acting like myself and expressing concern. Got like 3 hours of sleep last night and just kinda rolled around. Insight into my condition already waxing and waning. Songs stuck in my head play thru my ears like I have headphones on. I should be sleeping but forcing my eyes closed when the last thing I want to do is rest feels like torture. Maybe I should be temp-banned before I embarrass myself. Idk. I’ve been religiously taking my meds. Why must this happen now. Praying that it’s brief. Praying that it’s like a week. Idk I’ll just lie around. I must sleep while I still have enough sense to force myself. I must. Love y’all
Can I ask u what is going to happen?
Idk I’m shaking I don’t wanna be hospitalized I don’t I’m not cisoid enough for that i dont wanna go i dont. last time this happened it was like 5 days and forcing myself to sleep shortened it to not br like the hell that was September but if it goes too deep and to long it could be it idk I need to talk to my therapist i don’t wanna lose all my grip.
I’m sorry, yes u should consult w someone who is knowledgeable if they are helpful. Please be safe, best of luck to u 🫂