I can feel it. Racing thoughts. Irritability. Lowered inhibitions around suicidality. Others noticing me not acting like myself and expressing concern. Got like 3 hours of sleep last night and just kinda rolled around. Insight into my condition already waxing and waning. Songs stuck in my head play thru my ears like I have headphones on. I should be sleeping but forcing my eyes closed when the last thing I want to do is rest feels like torture. Maybe I should be temp-banned before I embarrass myself. Idk. I’ve been religiously taking my meds. Why must this happen now. Praying that it’s brief. Praying that it’s like a week. Idk I’ll just lie around. I must sleep while I still have enough sense to force myself. I must. Love y’all