i still feel like i’m 12. not in a peter pan syndrome way, but in an emotionally arrested way. all of my “development” is just me learning how to function and cope more successfully, not me actually growing or changing as a person.
12 is about right. It’s the age when I first started to desire immortality, so it’s fitting. (Even if the culprit was, of course, abuse)
I’ve found love and become better able to live, but I’m just very emotionally un-nuanced on the inside. I have a pristine core that loves life, but around that I have bitterness. I hate even the people who haven’t actually hurt me. Deep down, I speak in the language of hurt / not. I follow what I love and avoid pain, and I don’t take stock in anything “bigger than myself” like a cause. Literally my passions are for creating and consuming. I am a member of no community. I grew up cut off from other people and I have stayed that way, and want to stay that way. When I open my mouth to talk like this, it’s to talk about myself or what I like or to push an agenda I have. What I know and believe has changed, but I don’t feel I’ve changed much beyond becoming better at being myself.
It’s not all bad, though. I like being me.
kinda same
18
i feel like i am the same person mentally i was at 18 and i am 22 now. But physically I constantly become more moidish. I need to kms
i cannot recognize the younger version of me. like that person was not me, they were someone else. maybe it was because i was larping as a moid when i was that age to stop being a tranny(it didnt work)
14ish? 15? after that i felt like my path diverged and it would be hard to line up my life with the important milestones that everyone around me was experiencing
ive been in a state of mid teens for a while. I dont feel Like ice gotten older
16
im sgill 12 sometimes or maybe 14 something stupid and reckless and carless but also arrogant and acting out only to hurt my oarents
17
