I really feel I am at this rate it lines up too well. Would explain how I’m still a neet at 27

My general preference for isolation. being unable to feel that close to people, big apathy issues, being flat emotionally. Lack of care for social norms (had some hygine problems when I was younger, mostly fixed now but it’s a drag for me to do at times)

And the biggest one is just lack of motivation. It’s seriously worrying, how do I make progress in life this way? And realizing I’m trans just threw a wrench into it further. I have even less interest because I’ll probably not be able to afford anything beyond hrt and laser. What’s just the point, this body isn’t mine anyways.

Though it could be other things, a lot of symptoms overlap with autism which I am diagnosed with, as well as anxiety, and I do have chronic insomnia and adhd I’m trying to get under control. I have big DPDR issues. But knowing my luck I just have everything. In my more paranoid moments I think I am just full on schizophrenic but I dont have delusions or hallucinations.

I dunno I really feel this is the end of the line for me, except I can’t even find the motivation to rope either, just decay further.

  • t. choder
    1·
    14 days ago

    No problem. Happy to help tbh

    Yeah covert is sometimes used to describe this kind of style that I (and potentially you) have. It’s more typical in NPD talks in my experience tho.

    Yeah it’s funny cuz I was much the same. For years I was in this space where I clearly resonated with a bunch of BPD symptoms, but my theymab ex, who I was still with at the time, was a textbook petulant who shed a lot of doubt on that possibility… so I went into treatment for a bunch of other stuff before I swung back to realizing I shouldn’t have doubted the BPD possibility. The potential number of symptom combinations for BPD is pretty crazy, and the kind of breadth of knowledge needed to actually understand the subject doesn’t really survive any succinct explanation of the matter, and most people only understand it in pop-psych terms, which typically amounts to villainizing externalizing borderliners, while forgetting internalizers even exist… but yeah if your internal world is super rocky but you hold it together externally, that’s far from disqualifying… and I will say that your friendship pattern sounds identical to my own lol.