I really feel I am at this rate it lines up too well. Would explain how I’m still a neet at 27
My general preference for isolation. being unable to feel that close to people, big apathy issues, being flat emotionally. Lack of care for social norms (had some hygine problems when I was younger, mostly fixed now but it’s a drag for me to do at times)
And the biggest one is just lack of motivation. It’s seriously worrying, how do I make progress in life this way? And realizing I’m trans just threw a wrench into it further. I have even less interest because I’ll probably not be able to afford anything beyond hrt and laser. What’s just the point, this body isn’t mine anyways.
Though it could be other things, a lot of symptoms overlap with autism which I am diagnosed with, as well as anxiety, and I do have chronic insomnia and adhd I’m trying to get under control. I have big DPDR issues. But knowing my luck I just have everything. In my more paranoid moments I think I am just full on schizophrenic but I dont have delusions or hallucinations.
I dunno I really feel this is the end of the line for me, except I can’t even find the motivation to rope either, just decay further.


ye i remember seeing you talk about this somewhat on the subreddit
I have to be some variety of it there’s no way I’m not at this rate, like I plan on either moving or going to school this year but I just can’t bring myself to actually seriously want and care for anything at all and I just don’t know why. schizophrenia doesn’t run in my family so im not worried, i did learn my cousin has it which makes me paranoid but that’s the only one and it could easily be from my uncles wifes side whom im not related to.
idk on hygiene sadly, its got better since I was a child but its just a real drag to do and sometimes itll slip for like a week until I feel disgusted enough with myself to brute force through the apathy.