I never get to experience the childhood of a cis girl. Even if my normal childhood wasn’t bad objectively, it is still tainted forever by having grown up as a boy. I will never get that time back. I am forever doomed to look through shit-tinted glasses back at everything in my past, even the happy moments. Everything is stained because of my fucking birth defect.
My family is financially and generally supportive, but I can tell most of them indulge me instead of seing me as female. It just hurts. The only people I that view me as female are the ones I met post transition, which essentially are my bf’s family and my co-workers.
I will never be able to escape the past and this disgusting curse of an affliction, and most cis people just laugh about it and say “I should just embrace being trans” Fuck you why would I fucking do that it will just make it worse.
Tldr: Being trans is one of the worst ways to experience sentience, so we must be in some sort of hell


You are in a unique position where I was thinking about what you said the other day and it is very true that its tough to leave a community like this and live amongst exclusively the cis because its impossible to fully integrate with a people who are not your kind, yet you also (seemingly) pass too much for the bitterhons of 4tran to really relate with you much either. I genuinely feel kinda bad I’m sorry nona