I dont know what even to do as substitute. Nothing looks appealing enough to occupy me away from cutting. Games are so stupid. I want to quit playing video games completely. Playing toys isn’t fun anymore… I just feel bored with toys and I liked playing with my toys even as an adult now I dont. My phone always shows me things about sexual assault, like ads. I get so many ads for sexual assault helpline and human trafficking and stuff and its what sets me off half the time so I cant go look at anything. I dont want to bug any of my freinds. “Oh there goes Diane talking about being ugly and wanting to hurt herself again…” they are probably so sick of me… I dont know what to do as distraction…