im effeminate, not feminine, myself. its a combination of innate and theatre, effeminate gay men are really just like that inside but they play it up on the outside. same way women do things to feel extra ladylike, or men do things to feel manly. its also rebellion against the confines of toxic masculinity, which has been forced on gay men and used to abuse them their whole lives. youll often hear from gay men like this that traditional masculinity is wearing drab dull clothes and like being in a shitty boys club, so its also boring and restrictive, while women are colorful and sociable, which gay men admire and wish to emulate but also put their own spin on, as opposed to turning into women (which is also why drag queens exist.) i love effeminate gay men…