I’m so used to school I’m kinda scared of only going into education for the stuff I’m interested in, like now I’m just going to study biology and marine biology, and then it’s college to hopefully get a doctorate, I know it’s still a lot of education but it’s like, I’m not being given things to do, I have to be in control of what I do, I don’t like change, especially the one that’s coming up

I don’t feel like I even had a childhood, I just started existing at like 15 and now I’m expected to know enough to just be a functional member of society, I basically had 2 years of actually good schooling, that’s not really enough imo

I already know I want to become a marine biologist, and that’s about it, what if I fail? I don’t have a backup plan, I don’t have a passion for anything else as much as I do for the ocean, I cannot work in any other field, I have one shot at having a good life and I’m already at a disadvantage as an autistic tranny

I’m really scared that I’m going to fail, idk where it’s going to be, it could be my PhD thesis, it could be my college application or job application, but I know it’s going to happen and I don’t know how I’ll handle it