i been a few weeks, maybe 2, but i have been trying to internilize that none kf this is really real, and that i atleast need to get away,

i need to stop thinking that i deserve what women have or that having it would make me feel better, i need to stop comparing myself to women, i need to accept that as a trans woman, i am not actually a woman

it is a trick i play,

i need it to stop hurting, when i look at art of women, it still crushes me, it still makes me feel my meaningless body, it want that to stop, i need to accept that actual physical beauty just isnt for me