If I was a cissoid I’d have so much god damn power you literally just have to feign disappointment in a “barely perceptible” (extremely perceptible) way and then say “oh no you don’t have to-” once you’ve already calculated that the moid is going to do the thing you want him to

Band me and my brother both like and girl doesn’t? Guess who’s tagging along on our trip without telling me? (And getting the hotel bed while I get demoted to the couch apparently)

In another room at a party for a few seconds? ~ohhh you never spend any time at me I want you to notice when I’m gone~ (he always notices when she’s gone but she needs to pretend to be a helpless girl to manipulate him into doing her bidding)

Trip to any vacation spot? Oh you bet your ass

And she doesn’t pay for a damn thing either. No, it’s not even being split three ways. It’s split two ways between me and him and then he brings the third along. So we can go do what she wants during the trip downtime (makeup stores at which in repeatedly reminded that I’m not allowed to participate in the girly stuff)

If I have to be a moid can’t I at least hang out with my bros? He’s the only friend I have