i thought of this on my bus rides back home when i was repping, i had a fantasy of an approximate clone, one that wasn’t weighed down by my own alienation to the world, one that could fit in seamlessly as i should have been able to do so. just do its job and make my family happy and proud. even then i thought that this might have something to do with desires to transition but i always thought that was a corny metaphor and it wasn’t like i was dysphoric or anything.