the more i think about it the more how obvious it is that it is simply too damn late to start hrt. the latest should be 20. i should have started at 18 or earlier. why live. why? why fucking live? i literally started too fucking late for fucks sake. i wasted YEARS doing nothing but BEING SCARED and NOW WHAT??? NOW I PAY FUCKING THE PRICE OF NOT GETTING IT SOONER. i really don’t want to keep going on anymore. i hate my life, i hate being me, i hate every aspect of being me. anyone who started earlier than me fucking soulmogs me or some shjit because they get to be on hrt longer and get to be a girl longer than me. why live. WHY FUCKING LIVE??? HUH??? FUCKIGN WHY