Just realized how over it all is today. I can’t believe how stupid I was for years thinking things were going to be ok.

To not vaguepost. My mom took a picture of me today that makes me want to kill myself so so bad. Like to the level I thought I was sorta semi passing yesterday and feel like a neverpasser right now and am researching FFS surgeons and planning to upend my whole life to fix this.

I actually can’t believe how bad of a hon I am what the fuck…I’ve been crying for actual hours its genuinely so over I shouldn’t even be fighting anymore I should really just kill myself and stop wasting people’s time.

how HOW is it possible to be this monstrously ugly when I’ve felt pretty from time to time in the past? It must be that most angles simply lie to some extent and mirrors hugboxx sadly. I just…its hard to go straight to HOLY SHIT you might actually never even pass from feeling like you always had some kinda hope idk.