I feel that I’ve been an influential person in so many people’s lives over the years. I’ve been told I’m the reason dozens of people discovered who they are or set their life down the right path or whatnot, but its always meaningless to my own sense of being and my own path. Like even when bad things happen to me, it seems as though the outcome is always that I meet new people who’s lives I was destined to play a key role in, without my own improving in any way.

I feel like God created me to be a side character in everyone else’s story and then uses my own suffering against me to put me into positions where I impact those people’s lives rather than my own.

I’ll readily admit that while I’m crazy, I seem to generally have better social skills than most perpetually rotting internet NEETs like me, so I guess that’s probably why idk.

Can I ever be happy? I really don’t know…