main roti hu jab subha uthke mujhe phir se yaad karna padta hai ki main ek ladka paida hui thi. main roti hu ki main apne mammi papa ki beti nahi ban saki. Main unka “accha beta” thi. wo beta jo maa baap ko upar le jata hai aur sab usse jalte hai ki unka samajhdar hoshiyar beta. main wo beta nahi hu. main unki beti bhi nahi hu. mujhe kabhi beti banne mila hi nahi. main unke liye kya hu mujhe nahi pata. mujhe aise lagta hai ki jo kucch salon pehle ki zindagi thi aur jo ab wo bilkul alag hain. mai recognise hi nahi kar pati kyi main kya thi. wo samay mere liye bad bhoot banke baitha hua hai, mujhe yaad dilane ke liye ki mujhe kaise rehna padta tha, mujhe log kis naam se jaante the. kaash ham apni bhasha apni script me likhte par na main lipi shabd keh rahi hu na main idhar devanagari melikh rahi hu. mazak hai hamari bhasha. mere paas kabhi normal dimaag hoga ya na hoga mujhe pata nahi ab. jis tarah pehle shayad kabhi huya karta tha. abhi ke liye kewal ghabrahat aur pagalpana hi hai sirf. main ajeeb hu aur mujhe nahi pata ki main abhi ladki ban paungi ya nahi idhar agar koi ho meri tarah to wo smajh paye warna main khud se hi likh rahi hu khud se likhna khud se baat karna main aur kucch nahi karti