I usually try avoiding posts about my passing, I’m making this one only because it’s a breakthrough for me, I was thinking about it for three days already.

I was taking notes from compliments and little comments that several different people gave me, I took dozens of photos, asked my best friend and few random strangers online, even consulted my journal where I wrote down how I felt about my reflection from time to time - now after spending some time on all of this I have my confirmation, I am sure that I really don’t pass. I look like feminine moid and only my hair sometimes confuses people into gendering me female but they correct themselves after seeing me from up-close. I knew all along, but few people did their best to gaslight me into thinking I’m BDD passoid and I trusted them like an idiot - because it’s a nice thing to believe in. The only thing I pass as is a tranny at best, and not always. I should have trusted myself instead, my facial structure is obvious, I can feel the bones, they’re real.

I know, I know, it doesn’t change the fact that I am a woman, but who cares? I just look like an attractive moid who makes himself uglier because of too long hair. Some men pay to get face like mine and when I manmode nobody questions it. Without beeing seen as a woman I never get to live as a woman, it’s simple, and I don’t care about anything else. Not even being intershit saved me, it feels pointless. I am immensely disappointed and not at peace at all, but it’s better to be aware. I am not sure what I’m going to do about this yet with my all-or-nothing attitude.