I got a wedgie fetish from my older sister growing up and I still think abt it sometimes,

I genuinely don’t even want to masterbate to this anymore it’s not even good anymore.

But unfortunately I just start crying when I look at normal bdsm lesbian porn/hentai because I don’t have a vagina so I can’t even relate and it makes me so dysphoric/depressed.

I get sad thinking maybe if I was born cis I would have never developed this fetish because girls are too innocent for sibling bullying and I would have grown up normally and liked normal stuff.

Sometimes I genuinely hate it how it feels so much worse because I’m a tranny aka disgusting Amab which real woman don’t even have to care if they have fetishes unless it’s super fucking weird. Like if I was a cis girl I’d be a little embarrassed not deeply heavy ashamed and think I should die over it.

I think what’s worse is sometimes I think maybe it’s the reason I didn’t realize I was trans faster because of it and because I thought crossdressing was just a fetish as kid because I learnt wedgies was a fetish not knowing what gender euphoria was.

I hate myself for it and I start crying every single time I finish or just can’t and start crying/getting depressed anyway. It’s one of the only coping mechanisms I have where I get to forget I’m a disgusting tranny and hate myself so much for it.