This was never going to work. This was always going to go nowhere. Where has this gotten me? I’ve now got a family that hates me, I live in constantly secrecy, constant fear of everything that surrounds me, I have constant mental breakdowns and over what.

Someone I never will be. My shoulders are too broad, my beard shadow all-encompassing, the pain is never-ending. These legs look wrong, the arms too long, the face too sharp. The all-and-nothing way too tall, the mind too manly and too small, I am tired, deary mine, I want to sleep and not to whine.

And yet I rant here, uselessly, I live and wait all patiently, I want to do so not at all, I never wanted to be a doll.

I wish I never had any support. None at all. I wouldn’t be suffering like this if so. I would’ve never gone through with it. This is the worst life I could’ve ever imagined.