TLDR: got scammed out of all my money by a fake roid store. Found one that seems legit. Should hope or rope?

Where I currently live it’s illegal to be a tranny and coincidentally any forms of testosterone are illegal to the point where I’ve seen more fucking drug stores than steroid shops on web. Most of the ones I found are obvious fakes, but a few months ago I found one that seemed legit to me then - with photos of test vials, reviews, crypto payment etc… Ended up saving up for two months, paying this dick TWO times and getting blocked by him when I asked why the package hasn’t arrived yet. Shit undid one year of therapy and antidepressants in one day, contemplated killing myself🔥🔥 Two days ago I found another shop and been thinking about it since. Unlike the previous one, this one’s domain is constantly changing. The site referred me to a Telegram channel where all the new domains are published, and also the chat with around 1k members where you can see all the reviews and talk to clients in real time. I’m scared shitless to order but I’m also fucking miserable. I understand that if I won’t find a way to get TRT I won’t be alive for long enough to even graduate college, but also I can’t keep giving away my money for nothing. I’m 18 and currently can only work low wage part-time jobs because of studying. On top of that I’m living by myself, taking medicine to not go insane and saving up to emigrate, it’s not cheap either. Should I take the risk of ordering or look into other options?

Forgot to mention - I can only order from shops native to the country I live in. I have no option to order from abroad because all the packages from other countries are checked thoroughly, and most likely my hypothetical testosterone vials won’t even cross the border