My mom refuses to acknowledge that everything has falled apart since 2024. Its all just cope after cope with her. First Trump would “be out in no time” then he’d be out by summer, then by year’s end, now its back to summer, then it’ll be midterms. She can’t accept the reality that the existence she once knew is now gone. She refutes any and all logic related to the government right now with weak platitudes from the US constitution and the bafflingly factual inaccuracy that she thinks Trump lost the popular vote?

Furthermore she is incapable of accepting that I have become a full hon and don’t pass anymore like I did for a good while, and not just in a hugboxxy way. She keeps making up these bizarre excuses whenever I will be misgendered (such as that “maybe 10 percent of people just slightly aren’t certain” of her gender), and its strange because it never seems particularly directed at me as if trying to make me feel better (sometimes I’m not even there or meant to be hearing it). It seems directed inward to convince herself her worldview isn’t falling apart and that her daughter isn’t in the active process of having her life destroyed day after day. Like its not meant to comfort me its meant to lie to herself that my life won’t be misery from here on.

She told me the other week that she can no longer see the potential I once had for a bright future because of my negativity, yet then agrees with me that most everything is indeed negative and aimless.

I guess I just don’t really know what to make of it. I guess I still look pretty enough to myself here and there and I don’t look like a MAN or anything, but yah if the hope is for me to start interacting with the real world like I used to that’s not happening. Save for hanging out with friends who I can actually trust so primarily other trannies.

More to come…