My appointment is next week, but I don’t know if I can last that long. I feel sometimes like I am suffering ten million times more than the people around me for nothing. I was lectured about my gatekeeping rhetoric today for suggesting to a rich white trans man that HRT is good, actually. He doesn’t believe that you need any of that stuff to pass or be happy. and called me a boot-licking believer of colonial ideas. I can’t believe people like can exist. So little suffering and worry. Everybody just breezes through life. Maybe I’m just envious. How am I and this man both be called trans? I don’t think I have any male privilege. I don’t know. I’m so tired of being called cruel names for being dysphoric. These people pretend that they are the minority and that us dysphorics are actually oppressing them with our medical rhetoric and fascist beliefs. I know that’s mean. Being in pain makes me mean, and the degrading of my mental state. I wanted to punch him, which is a mean thought. very mean…