I assume so, at least, for another refuse truck has graced my street. Yet I remain living, not-living my life not-life.

Static, unchanging, unfeeling, and alone without being alone. Not even rotting for rot is a part of life, and I’m not living and not not-living.

Maybe you, the reader, are also not living your not-life with me, without me. Surely you can live and rot and feel once more one day someday soon. Be it the breeze in your lungs, or on your skin, the sun on your hair, pain and joy, and misery, too. I might one day have those things again as well.

For now another week passes by as so, too, does the refuse truck. Its routine a tedious inevitability.

  • Basedandtrollpilled
    2·
    10 hours ago

    I like the prose style you have, it’s beautiful.

    To answer your monologue; I live, yet with all it’s sufferings, mental and physical, gracing my divine air, flowing through my living vessel.

    What vessel can contain an unimaginable divinity? Between true independence and failure i continue to exist in a state of confusion. Yet i know just one thing, continue, continue, continue. The road to ascendancy is loaded with peril, and within it i will suffer, through my own hand, and with the reflection of the karmic slap.

    I used to be a living corpse, but I ceased to be when i realized i never was.

    The breath of life is unrelenting and it shall drive me forward. I know what is wrong yet I still walk down this path. Is there a way to ascend here or will I fall down a cliff? I KNOW BUT I STILL HOPE THERE WILL BE A WAY. A WAY TO LIVE AS I CHOOSE, FOR IS IT NOT DIVINE TO DO SO?

    • angrytransgalOP
      2·
      9 hours ago

      THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END

      but perhaps one day

      I hope you can leave your mother and start diy.

      Thank you for your compliments I rewrote it to be less poetry bc I thought it would be cringe. Writing has always been something I am better at than the average person, but without passion for the craft I have done nothing with that. Perhaps one day I will get an old laptop, perhaps a thinkpad, and lock myself in my room with 1 hour of internet per day and write my very own Kaczynskian manifesto or novel.

      • Basedandtrollpilled
        2·
        8 hours ago

        I wholeheartedly support your wishes. I too wanted to write something, perhaps a novel, perhaps just something to express my thoughts but i kind of feel I’m now yet ready. Maybe one day. Also thank you for your kind wishes ^^ i want to stay with my mother though, i love her despite everything. I believe I’ll figure this out.