I know being straight here is obviously seen as being luckier and more trutrans and I know i’m a pos for talking about this but I feel that being a straight trans woman is isolating as fuck.

I initially thought I was a gay guy for like four months and only then was I ever actually exposed to femininity in any positive sense through the internet because I’ve been deprived of any meaningful exposure to womanhood my whole and once I did, it has felt like I’ve just been stuck in a constant loop of running around with no actual community to exist in.

Cissoids obviously think I’m some weird fucking creature for being a tranny and so I can’t casually hangout with them without being a stealth gigapassoid. Going to LGBT spaces makes me feel like I’m invading someone else’s escape from a suffocatingly straight world. Trans specific spaces are full of girls who are either fully gay or are more into girls. I’ve made friends with some wonderful trans girls who are gay but the fact that I like boys means I cant really talk to them about desiring men. The girls that are straight act like braindead husstussies that would make Blanchard smile.

I hate moids. I really do. In my imagination I try to separate men from patriarchy and try to make up imaginary guys who have magically developed empathy despite 90% of them being grown up children that cant hold themselves together without sounding like animals. Heterosexuality doesn’t have to inherently be this gender role riddled bullshit but that’s just how it is irl and it destroys me to think about having to deal with for the rest of my life. The idea of having to beg men to actually give back in a relationship makes me want to tear my skin off.

I hate how much I’m forced to still be some kind of little twink faggot thing. That bullshit like Grindr has to be a part of my life for some reason. Gaymoids are absolutely annoying to deal with, they fucking hate women and they all just act like porn addicts. I seriously don’t see them as being any different to straight men except for the fact that they can now do deranged bullshit with each other because there are no women to put some sense in them.

The idea of romance feels dead. I will never be able to tell a man that I like him without wondering if he’ll want me as a fetish or he’ll punch me in the face and call me a faggot. I wish I had a vagina so I the idea of sex wouldn’t make me cry out of frustration. I wish I could have been born a cishet girl and lived my life as someone that society could actually see as valuable. I wish men weren’t so insufferable. I wish I looked like a girl