only one day in the past year have i felt better after meeting another human being, every other time has jist been torture im so sick of people im sick of having to force a smile on automatically of having to nod while they say stupid shit about the world and politics while i know the whole time they want all trannies dead. its just meaningless all of it.

so yeah, i get away and immediately i just start crying even through the haze of testosterone and anti depressants, the pain still reaches me, a jagged claw brusting through my chest.

im tired of pretending. to be a son. to be a friend. to be a human. im tired of taking up space. im tired. im just so tired.