i trooned out cause im agp and women are attractive, that and my unbridled hatred towards men made me feel evil for existing as one. but now that i see im never gonna be an attractive woman, my aap has flared up to compensate making me want to be an attractive man instead but now i cant because i have tits and stuff.

like, im miserable because i just want to be hot but i cant be hot as a troon. i dont have the face for it. my jaw is so bad. not only does literally everyone, even the people who tell me i look good, agree that my jaw screws me over, but my irl friends have joked to me about how i must be mewing all the time and stuff ever since i lost weight and had my jawline show up.

im so cooked. ffs is such a pipe dream. idk how im supposed to get tens of thousands of dollars to pay for it. and i dont want to get it cheap either, this is my face. ill have to live with it for the rest of my life. i dont want to fuck it up like ive already managed to do with my body. idk. it feels like detrooning and getting top surgery would be the safer bet. especially since i dont really like my chest anyway