i recently went on bluesky and saw all the posts she’s made over the last few months. i saw she talked about me a few times, about how exhausted she is because of me and how unhappy she is. what do i even do now i keep trying so hard to be better for her and i always fail in new and different ways every time. i just want to kill myself so she’s not stuck with me anymore and so she can actually just find someone better

today isn’t the first time i held the kitchen knife against my throat but im never able to do it. im not scared of dying im scared of how much it’s going to hurt before i go out. we dont have any rope or anything else i could use so my only other option is to throw myself off the roof. i dont know if its bannable (please dont ban me admins i didnt know i swear) but could someone please tell me if theres any way to die thats painless. something where i’ll only feel it for a second or feel nothing at all?