i kinda wish i could go back to not knowing i was trans sometimes. it was better… maybe. i didn’t really care about my body at all, it was stupid to care. my body was only a way to see and experience things, it’s appearance and what it said about me was irrelevant.

i wish i could go back to thinking like that, idk. i mean, i’m not sure if it was the healthiest thing, i barely had any sense of identity at all and mostly replaced it with fantasies and escapism but… you know, at least i wasn’t breaking down and crying for hours bc of how my shitty tranny body looks like a retard.

maybe i could only do this bc i was younger and more androgynous and i was destined to rope anyway tho.