I’ve decided I’m going to try blogging every day at least until I either get bored of it or die. I’ll let you know which one it ends up being when I stop. Don’t expect consistency though I don’t fully trust myself to keep this up.

I woke up feeling motivated, like I might actually get things together for once, and then it just disappeared out of nowhere. Now I don’t feel like doing anything. I spent most of today playing Pokémon Go (from inside my house bruh) and cleaning my room.

My psychiatrist told me the other day that I was manipulative and that I’ll never get better if I don’t try. It’s been stuck in my head all day. I don’t think I’m manipulating anyone but what if I am? What if I’ve been doing it without realizing? The idea that I could be hurting people like that without knowing really messes with me. I’m still trying to figure out what to do with that.

I also had a big fight with my parents, and by fight I mean I just stood there with a blank face whilst my mom cried and yelled at me. She begged me to get out of the house and do something with my life, honestly it just made me want to give up on life even more. I can’t even make my own mother proud.

That’s it for today see you tomorrow maybe