like, idk. i was reading fanfiction long before i trooned out. i was reading fanfiction before i even had troon thoughts.
i wrote some really shitty fanfiction when i was like 11 or 12 or something and i only remember that because a couple years ago a bot left a comment on something and i got an email.
but i also definitely act malebrained. i dont actually care about any of this stuff, its just true. i brute forced learned how to socialize like the guys around me. just hiding all the stuff i actually liked to avoid getting bullied and called a faggot. and thats sort of become ingrained in me.
like, my current personality is a mix of the sensitive loser who got bullied in middle school with the normal guy i learned to be high school. and it definitely feels like most people who do actually care about this stuff, would say im malebrained probably
its kind of crazy really. im only a functional person because i was mlre afraid of being seen as a loser and bullied than i was of social interaction.
forced myself to do extracurriculars and stuff, watched older classmates and learned to mimic them. eventually found my own groove and was generally likable enough by most despite never fully shaking the faggot coding completely ig