why am i crying? why am i shivering? why dies ny face contort? why do i flinch when i see my reflection?
all this is chosen action. a selfish impulse to treasure my own desires over everything that is actually important in life. there is no automatic facial expression. all this is mimicry and learned. all this can be ignored. i feel nothing. this is not real. j do not fe pain. i only perform it. in a bid for attention, to create a persecution narrative, i choose to react like this. but i dont actually feel pain. i dont actually suffer.
there is nothing to be afraid of. and i am not afraid.
how do i stop acting like im afraid?
It’s okay to be vunerable and it’s okay to feel emotion. You’re not selfish or evil for feeling hurt
i dont really feel emotion, im just reacting because i think i should be feeling but its just me playing into my own delusion of being trans
it’s okay to be weak sometimes
sure if i was going through actual pain which im not. and i still have no reason to express that weakness.
