The only two relationships i felt that wasn’t abusive were in the end traumatizing for me and made me only more scared to pursue relationships. One was making out with an nb (idk if that counts as a relationship though… might be a stretch) and other was a long distance relationship with a gay man lol. The first one made me feel disgusting. The second broke my maiden’s heart. I don’t know what a normal loving relationship means. I’m too autistic people don’t get interested in me enough to bother talking with me. I only crave true love, I’m rightfully scared I’ll never find it.