I dont care too much about winning anymore, im just upset i even tried, everytime I enter a art competition thing I lose bc my art is terrible, I never learn. I spend too much time drawing and not enough time getting a job or doing something else with my life. Im a failure in every way. I dont want sympathy anymore so stop trying, im just upset how utterly worthless I I as a person. I think my immediate gut reaction to this is hust me upset I lost at life, not the contest. but life. I dont do anyrhing but draw, sleep, play shitty mediocre games and watch youtube. Im not even good at using this site, theres often chunks of time where im not on here so I miss everything important then I ask “uhhrrr what happened” bc im a fucking retarded bitch. I am utterly insufferable im constantly moaning and whining about pointless shit and policing people’s ideas and words. I am incomprehensible to most people as I am constantly ranting about how I hate myself, I cant stop because theres so much fudging wrong with me, everything I say about me is true. im not just trying to over exaggerate. everyone says “oh nooo ur jot a bad person ohhhh” YES I AM I AM PURE EVIL I CONSTANTLY BITCH AND COMPLA8N AND GO ON MEANINGLESS RANTA AND I PUSH EVERYONE AWAY BC OF HOW AWFUL I AM SO STOP ITT!!! «UR JOT LIKE THAT NOELLE" YES I AMMMMM