I can kinda remember situations and events but it’s like my identity has been erased from it? like if I try to remember what I was doing or said/thought I always just come up completely blank like somehow anything about “me” is just an empty space in my memories now

idk if it’s just because I was kind of in a permanent state of disassociation before transitioning? do other people also feel this way and i’m just overthinking it? honestly it’s kind of freaking me out not being able to properly remember significant events in my life from my own perspective

I think my dysphoria especially related to when I was younger and repping until 16 when puberty was already over is just so hard to think about that my brain is blocking it out. that combination of regret and dysphoria and not being able to change anything is so painful