folks can I tell you about something that bothers me?

about 2 months ago I visited my ex in another town. over the weekend we had an argument (she was a weirdo who was pushing me to buy viagra) and one night I grabbed my things and went out. she lives in the city centre, so I was just strolling around until I got tired and took a seat by a river

at some point some moid approaches me. he’s asking if he can sit next to me. I’m immediately stressed af but not wanting to make a fuss in public I reluctantly agree. I know it was irresponsible, but I froze and stayed there while he was attempting to make small talk with me

turns out he’s just a normie. he tells me he lost his job and is moving out tomorrow, about his plans, and how it was to live in that city. he offers me a beer and being the stupid bitch that I am I accept. we talk about some bs, he throws in some jokes and we laugh together for a while

15 min into a discussion the guy straight up asks me “do you have a dick?” and that crushed me. I scorned him, acted disgusted, accused him of being a pervert who’s into that type of shit, stood up and went away

4 fucking years of hrt. 1.5 years of singing and voice training. why am I even doing this if I can’t take my clothes off in front of my lover? it makes me feel like I’m hiding something all the time. I don’t know if I can ever forget that experience. I got a glimpse into how people truly see me