Not many people realise how much pain this existence brings. How much suffering. A few days ago, I thought things were looking up but they never are. My parents hate me. My parents did their best to lead me to this point. And I’m tired of fighting back. I’ve wanted it for years. What can I say? I failed. Wrong genetics, wrong body, wrong life. Everything I’ve ever done led me here. To this dead end. My friends in the real world betrayed me. My parents hate me. My body hates me. I hate myself. I hate my BPD. The world did its best to lead me here. And I did my best to go on but it wasn’t enough.
I’m glad that my beautiful girlfriend wants the same. I’ve spent months trying to talk her out but I finally get it. She’s a wonderful person, a being akin to an angel. I’m not a believer but she is and I pray that she finds her own little place in heaven. If she’s right, I hope that I’ll be there with her.
To everyone here, please be stronger than me. You deserve to be loved and cared for. Be better than me.
Want some advice? Hide your situation better than I did, hide it until you’re free of your shackles. Trust no one but others from your community. They betrayed me and they will probably betray you. Surround yourself by other trans people who will get in how dangerous of a position you are, not people who will sell you out over a personal grudge. And most of all, never, never let your parents learn or you’ll be where I am. You can do it. You can become your true selves. I couldn’t but you can.
Lots of love, Maria out.
Maria. You can just do things, move to some random country and do random shit, have a tranny adventure. At least try to experience what life can offer you. I’m not gonna say don’t do it. Even if i did maybe you’ll still do it. So I’m giving you a reason to reconsider. Heed my advice and see. See and decide afterwards.
I’ve no way of doing it. No way of doing anything. And that’s fine too. I accepted what’s to come. At least I’ll die warm.