I really can’t bring myself to care that much, Ive probably felt this way ever since puberty

It feels like the damage has been done and I just can’t care anymore. I guess all that apathy just dug me in a deeper hole

I guess I was okay as a child but since then it’s been worsening levels of anguish. There’s no rock bottom, it always has got lower

Never bothered thinking or planning about the future and just shutting myself away for multiple years. I just don’t have an interest or drive in much things.

Id probably had not ended up that happy if I were cis but maybe Id have a shot at it, and be able to be spared the additional anguish of dysphoria.

This is just horrific and I just want it over. Not by my own hands. I couldn’t.