I can’t even live in the moment anymore, its too miserable and my prospects for the future are a total wreck. Im stuck thinking of a time before all of this and how it could of been had I had not been born like this, its insanely unhealthy but like I said everything is too dire. Easier said than done.

Maybe If I had been born right or not so stupid as to ignore stuff that was obviously wrong I could of been happier and more functional

This feels like living out some sort of doomed timeline but of course that’s not a thing, this is really the one shot I get at this.

What’s more is that more is slipping by. My body is damaged and so is my mind. The world stops for no one. And I’m in a somewhat shitty position to be in regarding all of this. It’s not like I can just undo whats been done. What’s gone is forever gone and the road ahead just look like humiliation at best and my demise at worst. Though I honestly kind of just want that often times.

What Id give to do it all over again but born correctly.