Every trans women here are in hormones, everyone of you at least Made the attempt, You all have at least something womanly in your appearences at least after being in HRT for at least 1 year, everyone here Even if they don’t pass at least has some degree of being a women after transitioning medically…and that just Made me know that I’m just not a women, I’m just not one, in body, soul, nothing, i don’t have estrogen in My body, i don’t have the effects of it in the slightlest, I’m NOT a women, i don’t the have money to be a women, i don’t have the courage to be a women, i don’t have the SOUL to be a women, i don’t have nothing…why i keep desiring this, i have tell myself SO much damn times that is over that i Will never be one, i tried to accept it, i tried to cope with it, i tried to at least do something else, and yet i still want this, i still want something that i can’t get, hormones, girlhood, clothes, body, soul, voice, life, maybe i can’t change, not only in body but in soul, i have a man soul, a dysphoric man soul that has tried to abandond all hope of being a women and yet cries over it, I’m not feminine in the slightlest, My face is not feminine, the mirror sometimes takes back the face of a girl but i know very well that that is a lie just with a photo of My phone i know what i really look like, a man, a ugly sad man, a disfunctional dysphoric man that can’t get over it something that he can’t do, i don’t have money for HRT, i don’t know what to do with HRT, i don’t know i Will do with My life at this point, I’m not trans, I’m not a luckshit or a lateshit or a midshit or a passoid or a hon or AGP or Even a repper, I’m a man, i Will die as a one, in My grave Will be written that name that hurts me hear, i Will be remember by that name, i Will be remember as a man, i had decide it, i Will commit suicide someday, i Will die and i Will do it myself, if i can’t access HRT, if i can’t be a women, if i can’t stop feeling like this then i’m not gonna keep wanting living anymore, I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry dad, I’m sorry brother, but i don’t want to keep living anymore