I will never get enough money to afford anything. I just started college and I’m older than everyone here. I am fucking stupid and so fucking worthless. Nothing I do matters. I just want to be normal and my experiences are already so far from the norm I will never catch up. I can never be like everyone else. I will always be different.
How do I prevent this from being my future? I’m 18 rn, at the start of my transition, lonely and in a weird (maybe even slightly supportive) toxic family. I have only finished high school, all of which I’ve spent at home due to Covid and the Russian invasion. I’ve dropped out of Italian ITIS cause it was too grindy and depressive for me due to the dysphoria, seeing all those pretty girls my age made me feel dead inside (and I was also bullied a bit, but like nothing too bad, just shunned and lonely).
I’ve just kinda been rotting in my room for the past 3 months. I’m about to start some dead-end warehouse job so I don’t get kicked out when my parents find out that I’m doing DIY HRT. Idk what my plan for the future is and I’m scared.